The war within

I have seen myself evolving from being a school kid (who used to go to the primary school with a sack in hand, so that I could sit on it) to a research professional who find it very hard to even take a bus/auto for commuting. Its a long journey and complete transforming in my life.

But sometimes, I do think that is it what I always wanted, or have I missed something in pursuit of a good living standard and career growth hunger.

The answer I always find is that I am not exactly what I was some 10-15 years back. I still remember the times of my childhood.

Almost the entire town was knowing me. But when I look back at my posh flat today, hardly even my next door neighbour knows even my name.

We used to crib about the habit of people poking their noses into others personal affairs. But when I come back home fully drunk from a elite office party, I wish those people should have been here cribbing about these habits.

We used to climb the stairs and get on the roof just to have a glance at the so called good looking girl of our colony. It was totally a silent talk through our eyes. We hardly used to talk each other, and left our visual touch thereafter. But today when I see girls ready to give all what they have just for the sake of either some fun or money, I feel those times were better.

I am myself getting more and more deeper into this dirty, but so called fancy and high standard metro culture I am trying to adjust into right now.

Hope someday, I find a courage to come out of this illusion, and try getting back those old moments again.

Kunal Bhardwaj